Rites of Uranus


Staff member
Rites of Uranus

When I first heard the title of this one, I thought that this would be kind of a thematic adult movie taking place on some really cheap, cheesy alien planet set, perhaps a space serial from yesteryear where hot female astronauts wearing classic 1950’s space suits which had those glass bubbles for helmets. With laughable “Lost in Space” Special effects, science technology that was not feasible then nor today and enough green women to give Captain Kirk a coronary it was sure to be a cheezy/sleazy time to be had by all. Of course, when I saw the cover art above, I immediately realized that when it comes to the hardcore world of the Dragon Art Theatre such promises of fanciful lunar themes are always just a thinly veiled malicious attempt at wit because this show is actually about a cult of hooded freaks who gather round and chant as various objects are stuck up women’s asses. I suppose if it would be disturbing enough if the rectory of ghouls wearing burlap robes just sat and watched the action, and basked in the glow of the ass candles but this cult actually have a chant which is heard verbatim, repeated countless times throughout the movie, it is as follows: “Hail to Your Anus, Your anus takes my thrust and the penetrating force of my grey hot venom shall shatter the sanctity of the mind”. So it seems that that this sect isn’t exactly lunar travelers after all? Yet even so, they do aspire to “shoot for the moon” as often as possible, for this film seems to center on all manner of ass sex and penetration, the most garish of which is by the use of a plastic toy ceremonial sword that has been fused with a dildo, used to stab folks where most wouldn’t want to be cut. There is a plot, of a woman named Sara who in the opening scenes is indoctrinated by fellow acolytes of the asshole, and during a threesome, their charismatic leader (a true man of the poophole) drops dead. She is taken away, put in jail, where she promptly escapes only to be gotten in the end, (the rear end). Turns out their leader wasn’t dead after all, but shows up in the final moments of the film to let her know that he is very much alive. I guess he just couldn’t stand to leave her behind…This unholy fusion of anal penetration, occult themes and evil men in cloaks coercing poor women into ritualistic abusive anal sex will strike some as asinine, others as unholy. All however, must concede that this film is indeed truly “ass-holy” in its basic theme, mood and execution.

Size: 500 MB
Duration: 00:59:02
Resolution: 528x400
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